the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
