We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
