Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
