yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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