Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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