new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
pop tarts are not kleenex
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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