I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just found puke in my bra..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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