I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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