the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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