i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
