What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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