Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
