Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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