remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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