found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just cut my nipple shaving
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
