We're facebook friends in real life
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
