i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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