I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
