I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
