The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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