Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
