Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
