dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
