I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have started to decorate penises.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
