We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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