hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
