i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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