hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
