I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need a beard to bite.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
