Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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