Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
