i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
