I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
