idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
