Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
