I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
