theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
