I think i sorta joined a cult last night
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
