I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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