it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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