Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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