She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
