But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
