why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
