My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
