I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
