I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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