nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
