The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
