PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
