I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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