there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My liver just had a heart attack.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
