so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just gargled with NyQuil
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
