no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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