I can text with my tongue
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
