just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
