I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
