we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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